I know I haven’t written anything here recently.. I’ve been sick with tonsillitis. Stupid really. Anyway. I have a problem with Dai. He’s holding something back, but won’t tell me what it is. There’s never been any secrets between us, we tell each other everything, or, at least I thought we did.
He’s hurt, but not by me. He says its past, but if its past then why is he still hurting? I don’t ever want to see him hurt. I want to know what the hell happened, I want to help him if I can. He won’t talk about it. Every time I try to get him to talk all he’ll say is that he wishes he’d waited for me and then either gets really moody or turns away and ends up crying. I don’t know what he means by that. Should have waited for me.
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Found your blog. You think too highly of me, you know I’m as much a fuckup as you, if not more.
I don’t know why I can’t tell you what happened. But I’ll try. You probably guessed what. About 4 months ago, I gave up, john had been pestering me. You were with some chick. I don’t remember what I took, and I let him. I didn’t really want to. I wish id waited. I always wanted it to be you. He didn’t care about me. He was brutal, took what he wanted, used me. Sure as hell didn’t take well to being replaced. I know I should have told you in person. And now I’ve ruined your therapy, intruded it to what was, in a way, private. Its out. Now I’ll have to talk.
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