Sex is something I do to kill time?

Probably.

Once I started I didn’t want to stop. Its yet another addiction. I’ve been trying to remember all the girls I’ve slept with. I haven’t been in love with any of them. Meaningless sex?? No, not really. I’ve loved some of them, sort of, just not been ‘in love’. I’ve cared about them. I’m not completely heartless. But sometimes a guy can’t pass up on an opportunity that’s too good to refuse. My first time was one of those. It was a friend of my sister, and I was 15. Marie was having a sleepover with some friends from her hocky team. I was on the way back to my room from the bathroom, I’d just had a shower. Alice came out of Marie’s room and I thought she was heading to the bathroom, I smiled at her, and went into my room. She followed, pushed the door shut and locked it. I wasn’t supposed to have girls in my room. She kissed me, pushed me back onto my bead and had her PJs off in about 2 seconds. Yep, my first time was with one of my sisters friends. Alice was 15 at the time and was in the class ahead of me at school.

Next I dated a couple of girls, only lasted a week or two each. I screwed one of them, I don’t remember which.

Next was Emma, a girl from Dais class. She had the hots for him something bad, unfortunately for her, he’d just comeout. So she settled on me. The sex was ok, she was enthusiastic. We lasted about 6 weeks.

Next was Amber. What a headfuck. Great in the sack though.

Then Crystal, who wanted it then cried after.

Then Michelle. She was 17., I was 16. Ben had broken up with her about two months before. I fucked her, in his bed. He walked in when we were done, and I was using one of his trophies as an ashtray. I ran, they argued for hours after and it seems that this younger brother is the much better lay.

There’s been lots of others. I can’t’ be bothered listing them all.

Do I have a favorite?

Well ‘they’ say you’ll always remember your first, and ‘they’ are right, Alice is my favorite. We tried dating for a while. It didn’t work. Last time I saw her she was preggers (not mine). She got kicked out of school for it. I’ve since found out some rather interesting things about her. She likes ‘breaking in’ young guys. She’s been the first for at least a dozen other guys, and more amusingly girls too. When I saw her leaving my sisters room that first time, well she’d just finished getting sweet little Marie off, and succeeded in making herself overly horny, that’s why she jumped me. I find the whole thing rather funny, most other guys would be grossed out at the thought of screwing a chick who’d just fingered their sister.

And yet, after fucking so many girls, I still haven’t found love.

I don’t seem to be able to have a relationship with anyone. I can’t fall in love. All I have is sex, to the point of obsession. It’s like watching yourself go insane. From the outside.